Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
