The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
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you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
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Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
There r osticjed everywhere
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Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding