sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
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I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
then he tried to convert me to islam
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"