just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
