Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
there is glitter all over my balls
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour