I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone