Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.