I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN