I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
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He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
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She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
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i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on