she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.