he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"