So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.