i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first