I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.