Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Send us your Text From Last Night!
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss