Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER