after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink