Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
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i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
So squirting runs in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY