I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
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I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.