just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
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I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
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and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
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I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...