Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out