i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Send us your Text From Last Night!
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
I dont know to explain this.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?