Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"