Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
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I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?