I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy