is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.