Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
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It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
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Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.