So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.