There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport