I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
