you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
