I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
