Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.