So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
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MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
PANTIES FOUND
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time