he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours