If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.