im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.