We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation