I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Send us your Text From Last Night!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom