She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
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My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast