Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.