Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
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he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"