I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I could fuck to npr.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
