Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???