I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us