No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.