I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.