He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
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I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"