Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole