Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster