Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome