It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.