I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
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His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog