Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.