Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
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The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk