So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
