Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic