Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I am one with the molecules
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...