remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
