he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
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Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint