As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling