You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?